两 位 “ 小 霸 王 ”
本帖最后由 米豆豆 于 2023-6-5 16:41 编辑小霸王醉入销金帐，花和尚大闹桃花村。
智深把房中桌椅等物都掇过了。将戒刀放在床头，禅杖把来倚在床边，把销金帐子下了，脱得赤条条地，跳上床去坐了。
那大王推开房门，见里面黑洞洞地。大王道：“你看我那丈人，是个做家的人，房里也不点碗灯，由我那夫人黑地里坐地。明日叫小喽啰山寨里扛一桶好油来与他点。”鲁智深坐在帐子里都听得，忍住笑，不做一声。那大王摸进房中，叫道：“娘子，你如何不出来接我？你休要怕羞，我明日要你做压寨夫人。”一头叫娘子，一头摸来摸去。一摸摸着销金帐子，便揭起来，探一只手入去摸时，摸着鲁智深的肚皮，被鲁智深就势劈头巾带角儿揪住，一按按将下床来。那大王却待挣扎，鲁智深把右手捏起拳头，骂一声：“直娘贼！”连耳根带脖子只一拳，那大王叫一声：“做甚么便打老公？”鲁智深喝道：“教你认的老婆！”拖倒在床边，拳头脚尖一齐上，打得大王叫救人。刘太公惊得呆了，只道这早晚正说因缘劝那大王，却听的里面叫救人。太公慌忙把着灯烛，引了小喽啰，一齐抢将入来。众人灯下打一看时，只见一个胖大和尚，赤条条不着一丝，骑翻大王在床面前打。为头的小喽啰叫道：“你众人都来救大王。”众小喽啰一齐拖枪拽棒，打将入来救时，鲁智深见了，撇下大王，床边绰了禅杖，着地打将出来。小喽啰见来得凶猛，发声喊都走了。
一个强盗要迎娶黄花大闺女。
结果在婚房，在婚床上，竟然躺着一裸体和尚。
鲁智深在众目睽睽之下赤身裸体殴打“新郎”，拆了这段姻缘。
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嗜酒如魔花和尚 今日方知我是我
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